Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
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He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
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The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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