When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
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It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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