I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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