I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
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fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
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Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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