i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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