In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize