Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My feet surprised me
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