Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize