my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize