his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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