I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize