I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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