I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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