thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
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There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
FUCK WHALES
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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