does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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