the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Less talking, more tequila
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
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Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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