HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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