Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He shit in the fireplace
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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