i jhust puked up my retainher.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize