ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize