My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
lets start a swedish sibling band together
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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