The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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