I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize