I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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