i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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