True but thats because hes a fetus.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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