Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I puked a lego.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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