it was like eating out sand paper
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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