im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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