Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize