Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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