im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
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he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
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There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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