Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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