Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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