You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize