i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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