Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up

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(248): Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up http://tfl.nu/y2zz

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(917): View more from New York City

my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS

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(917): my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS http://tfl.nu/r3wq

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(816): View more from Missouri

I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now

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(816): I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now http://tfl.nu/vuci

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.

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(908): I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain. http://tfl.nu/vwtj

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits

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(860): I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits http://tfl.nu/yqhn

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...

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(321): I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised... http://tfl.nu/krhx

Replies (14) Good night (5535) Bad night (890)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked

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(412): We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked http://tfl.nu/s4j7

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(214): View more from Texas

That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

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(214): That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed. http://tfl.nu/6ncx

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(678): View more from Georgia

I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.

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(678): I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities. http://tfl.nu/k0mm

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.

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(978): Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant. http://tfl.nu/4fg6

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(209): View more from California

I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.

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(209): I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/cws8

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.

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(508): There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him. http://tfl.nu/gfad

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(619): View more from California

We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?

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(619): We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!? http://tfl.nu/jmdl

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(770): View more from Georgia

You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."

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(770): You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt." http://tfl.nu/x17b

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(727): View more from Florida

There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..

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(727): There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you.. http://tfl.nu/y77w

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