It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize