dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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