butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
only if we run a train.
done.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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