I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize