Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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