So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize