New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize