my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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