Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
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Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
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My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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