I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
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