fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize