You smell like a Billy Joel song
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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