i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize